Thursday, July 24, 2008 0 comments

Ebb & Flow

Dear ZJ,
Thank you for your kind words and for always being there.
Somehow, the fact that I dreamt of dad on the eve of his death held a kind of relief/comfort/sadness combined. You know me, I'll always be "spooky central" so it's not strange to dream these dreams. Anyway, he's in a better place now. My boss asked me early this week: "Hapoton taka ngaya Sam. Ano ngunyan na mayo na si dad mo?" I replied "Pareho man lang po coz pirmi man sya absent dawa kadtong buhay pa sya...". She had to agree.
It's still the same. Work as usual. The monotony of work, raket, internet, blogging, tutorials, housework, YM, movies and cable tv is always welcome. Most days I'm so tired beyond caring. Even doing stuff way off my usual turf can be solace. Commuting to bulod places without any canteen/cafeteria, standing by the highway under intense heat or pouring rain, waiting for people who are actually absent, paghalat sa mini bus na haloyon mag-abot, etc. - adventures, so to speak.
There are smiley moments too. Spent time with my sibs, family friends, even high school batchmates and those who were there during that week of bereavement. Strangely, special people are turning up or returning within my circle. I remain healthy. Reasons enough to be grateful. Just like life and death, things are relatively steady in my life now.
No complications. It's better this way, I guess.
Monday, July 21, 2008 0 comments

Be strong, my friend

Dear Sam,
It was only last week that I had successfully downloaded YM in my laptop, thanks to the kind IT people at the British school. Imagine my surprise, shock and sadness when I learned that your father passed away. I am so sorry that the sad news has taken a long time to reach me - if not for your offline messages then I wouldn't have a clue.

Honestly, it is in situations like this that I do not know what to say to comfort you - words failed me this time. I know your world collapsed and I cannot say that I know what you are going through as I haven't lost a parent yet.

I feel like a helpless friend knowing that there is nothing I can do. I wanted to be there for you at this time of grief, give you a hug, hold your hand and just be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I know this is not enough but I am writing this instead to tell you that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I share your pain. Hang in there, my friend.